Men jokes

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What a woman says: "This place is a mess C'mon, you and I need to clean up.

Your stuff is lying on the floor, and you'll have no clothes to wear, if we don't do laundry right now!"

What a man hears: blah, blah, blah, blah,

C'mon blah, blah, blah, blah,

you and I blah, blah, blah, blah,

on the floor blah, blah, blah, blah,

no clothes blah, blah, blah, blah,

right now !

Rating: 3.0 |

A man parked his car at the supermarket and was walking past an empty cart when he heard a woman ask, "Excuse me, did you want that cart?"
"No," he answered. "I'm only after one thing."
As he walked toward the store, he heard her murmur, "Typical male."

Rating: 3.0 |

QUESTION: Why are lifesavers better than men?
ANSWER: They come in five flavors.

Rating: 3.0 |

Men are like fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's a woman's job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with.

Rating: 4.2 |

One Saturday afternoon, a man was sitting in his lawn chair drinking beer and watching his wife mow the lawn. A neighbor lady was so outraged at this, she came over and shouted at the man, "You should be hung!" To which he calmly replied, "I am. That's why she cuts the grass!"

Rating: 3.4 |

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  • ...or read some samples at jokes directory.